See? Consistency! For the moments leading up to the completion of this posts, however, there’s a twist.
**Note: I had no idea if I should put this at the top or at the bottom, but Happy Birthday to one of the best men in my life. It wasn’t until I scheduled this post that I realised it was going up on his birthday.
Now that that’s done…
I’m not exactly in a mental state of depth, so I won’t exactly be profoundly asking how you are today.
I get it. We all lie. It’s totally fine. It doesn’t make you any less human. Quite the contrary. It’s utterly human.
It’s just like I lied about consistency being hard for me but hit 50 posts as soon as I published the post about how hard consistency is.
Because of my skill as an ardent procrastinator, however, I have to wait a little longer till Jorja Smith will ever realise that I exist.
Anyhoo, somewhere at the back of my head, I know today’s post and the last one are connected but I can’t seem to get the connection right now. Maybe it’s just another lie. One that my brain is telling me so that I can feel good about myself.
It’s amazing how I’m manifesting today’s topic as I pen it down.
Isn’t life wonderful?
Anyway, I’m just going to lowkey hope that I’m right about the connection and that we’ll find it before this post is over. Hence, let’s get down to business, shall we?
Am I Doing Enough?
There I was. It was one of those days that I’m enthusiastic about my talents and how I’ve been putting them to work.
Anyway, the thing about those moments is that they charge you to want to do even more so that when the moments show up next time, you have even more to feel good about. Suddenly, you feel like you can handle it all.
That’s how I felt because I wanted to feel a lot better later. Until, of course, my brain – with a degree in overthinking – made it all come crashing down.
Before the bad stuff happened, I started to think about what to do. I was thinking of how to make my blog better, how I can do more and trick myself into being more consistent.
’Trick myself into being more consistent…’
I thought back to the last post and remembered how I may or may not have confessed the fact that my consistency game is shit.
This, my dears, is when it started to rain fire and brimstone and I was standing outside with an umbrella. An UMBRELLA!
Let’s sha say that I might have burned a little – and by that, I mean a lot – right after the umbrella did.
I remembered how I do the minimal – or so I think – and that I’ll probably never get anywhere if I keep being like this.
To worsen things, I stumbled upon the page of a beauty blogger I once worked with, To worsen things, I stumbled upon the page of a beauty blogger I once worked with, Mimie Jay, and she is absolutely blooming.
I might also have a tiny crush on her, but that’s mostly irrelevant, so I’ll strike it out.
The point is my brain started to do that shitty human thing called ’comparison’.
Such a shitty concept, IMO.
Thankfully, I had earlier enforced and reinforced a sorta pep talk I had read/heard earlier. You know? ’All that don’t compare each other’s successes.’ ’We’re all moving at our own paces.’ ’We all have our own time.’
It was along those lines. I, however, seem to remember it in some sort of yahoo boy fashion. So, please, if you know the actual one I’m talking about, reach out. Thank you.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is it’s okay to feel this way.
Honestly, if I didn’t, I would never have been motivated to make this post. As a matter of fact, I wanted to publish on the spot but I figured following set timing is also part of consistency(?)
I’ll probably just head on to writing another post for the next week, and I’ll keep it up till the procrastinator in me takes over and I’m back to merely posting on the set date.
So, to answer the question ’Am I enough?’
Well, I guess I am. However, I’m also keeping in mind that ’satisfactory’ isn’t the same as ’excellent’.
Enough is satisfactory. I, however, know that the girl that I am/ am meant to be is more than satisfactory. So I’m just gonna do my best every time ’lazy ass me’ isn’t in control.
Now, your turn.
Do you ever have ’Am I enough?’ moments?
How do you get over them?
Do you ever compare successes? How’s that working out for you?
Why do you want to leave this page without leaving a comment that answers any of the questions above?
If you won’t answer all the others, why won’t you answer the one right above this?
I could actually go on for a longer period of time, but I’ll just stop here and beg you to please leave 1 comment. Biko.