Posted in POVs

Hi

Hi.

I’m bored.

Honestly, I don’t know where this particular piece is headed, but I thought ’it’s been ages since I popped on here. So, why not?’

So, here I am.

Hi, again.

Shitty of me to show up when I’m bored innit?

Don’t hate me.

I just-

A girl has a life, y’know.

Even if that life mostly involves an existential crisis every other day.

I’m also generally throwing myself into work for the mula because I need to live the life I identify with. I mean, I have this idea of the life I should be living. I picture what my wardrobe looks like and what my daily diet is, and, right now, that’s not what my life looks like. So, I’m just tryna get there.

You feel me, yeah?

Of course, there’s the part of me that knows that I could actually get there – eventually – if I just stick with talking to you guys, but eventually seems so far away, and, this might be shitty, but I really like immediate results. So, I’m pouring myself into it.

If you read Inside Life right to the end, then you know that I might have mentioned having a bunch of other…ideas.

No, I am not a liar. I do have some ideas…

Sort of.

I’ve just been having problems convincing myself to put them out. It’s not because I think they’re shit.

I mean, I do think they’re shit, but that’s not why I’m not putting them out.

It’s just because I don’t exactly see myself being able to pull them off for longer than a few weeks. I don’t see consistency happening. I mean, what if I stop having shit in that theme to fill you guys in? What happens then?

I’m a chronic worrier. Forgive my rambling, please.

I basically just confessed my fears. I feel great.

Anyhoo, now that that’s out of the way, I can stop being such a glory hog and focus on you!

How are you? Like really.

How are you handling all of this shit?

I mean…Chadwick – rest his soul. It had me in tears. For a while, I couldn’t figure out why I was feeling that grief like that. So much. Then I realised it was shared. Even my aunts.

I doubt I have to go into how much Chadwick meant to us. To the black community. It hurt. Still does lol. But, because of the current state of my mental health, I’d rather not dwell on it. I’m almost certain that you don’t want to either.

Plus, I just realised I shifted the focus from you to me. Again.

Sorry.

I really do wanna know how you are. How are you holding up? If you’re holding up good, would you mind dropping some tips on how you’re doing it? The comments section is always open.

This was supposed to be a paragraph of how I’m going to hit publish right now, but I remembered I needed to address something.

It’s nothing major. I just want to say a huge thank you to everyone who’s been coming on here despite my ’short break’. The stats on here have been great considering the fact that I’ve not been posting. I love you guys for loving me and it means the world to me. You mean the world to me🥺

Thank you, really.

If y’all respond to this well, maybe – just maybe – I’ll be motivated to start off one of my intended ’series’ sooner than later.

Until then, sayonara. Peace. Shalom. Auf Wiedersehen. Aloha. Au revoir. Odabo. Sha, goodbye in a bunch of other languages I can’t remember right now.

Note: Was just about to hit ’publish’ when I noticed that this piece has no title. Haq! I’m just going to name it the first sentence up there.

Note II: After scrolling through the most recent posts, I saw the post about Alibaba’s Write Off Challenge and I realised I never gave y’all updates. Well, update! I made it to the top 20. Out of entries, I got to the top 20! I didn’t make it to the top 10 sha.

Sorry I gave you hype first.

As someone who celebrates small wins a lot, it’s kind of a big deal getting into the top 20. There were 100s of entries – if not more – and I made it to the top 20. That means a whole frigging lot to me.

Another thing that makes me happy is the fact that majority of the top 20 writers, and then top 10, are all women🥳 The power that black women have. Ugh!

So, yeah sha. That’s about it. I don’t have an iPad, and my account balance is still N7. I kid you not.

If ethereal forces are convincing you to bless me, please, reach out. I’m not proud. I’ll give you my details in no time.

Omo, these notes I added were impromptu o💀 Then again, so I is the entire post.

Once again, odabo.

Author:

Teen with the soul of a child and musings of an adult💖 http://www.mirakee.com/brownie_vocal

3 thoughts on “Hi

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